Prologue - unfinished business

 Ignore the posted date - it's June 12, 2021. I am "scratch +1 day" from the 2021 TransAmerican Bike Race and am standing in line at the Delta gate in Boise, ID. My attempt at the 2021 TABR had come to an early and totally unsatisfying end after just 6 days. A combination of bad planning, bad equipment choices, completely bizarre mechanical issues (the crank tried to fall out of my bike for God's sake!), and ultimately an injury forced me out of the race at Baker City, OR. 

I'm standing in line, waiting to board, and stewing / wallowing in a combination of self-pity and borderline loathing. I had trained for over a year to do this ride and while I knew that I wouldn't be competitive (there are pro's doing this after all) I felt strongly about my chances for a decent finish. But by day 5 it seemed to me that I had not been even remotely prepared for the challenges of the 1st couple of days. The weather on the 1st day was some of the worst that I had ever ridden in...pouring rain, temps never out of the 40's, and a 10-20 mph wind that seemed to always be a headwind just wore me down physically and emotionally. Mechanical issues on day 2 made what should have been an easier day just ridiculously hard. My not spending enough time studying the maps so I would grasp just how tough riding in that part of Oregon is...it is the Cascades after all...all conspired to beat me down. 

When my bike suffered a near-catastrophic issue on the downhill to Baker City (drive train was locked up and I was sliding during a high-speed descent), my attempt to "not die" resulted in a perceived injury that made the decision to scratch for me. It turned out to not be as grave an injury as I had thought but it didn't matter - I was done. I dropped the bike at a local bike shop for shipping...which is a whole different story for another day 😑. A Greyhound bus ride of a couple hours plus a quick Uber trip and I found myself at the Boise airport, defeated.

So I'm standing there in line, feeling for sorry for myself, and a text comes in from my boss. "How are you doing?" the text reads. "Bad" is my reply, "I'm injured and have scratched from the race - on the way home". Long pause and then "sorry to hear that...maybe try again next year". 

Next year...up until that point the idea hadn't even crossed my mind. In my mind, this was a "one and didn't get it done...too bad.". But right at that moment, the seed of another attempt got planted. I mulled that over for a bit and then said "dunno...maybe" and then got on the plane.

I am not an overly goal-driven person. That's not totally true; I like reaching goals but I just do not have to "put the cherry on top" of everything that I do. Most people who know me would say that I do not overly-obsess about things not being complete or perfect. I don't like leaving things in a state where they do not work or leaving others in a lurch but I am not "it's got to be 100% or it's 0%!"...that is just not me. 

However, I do not like "unfinished business" and by the time I got off the plane at RDU the TABR had fallen into that category. The idea just gnawed at me. Once I was sure that my injury wasn't as bad as it looked/felt and once I got my bike back (it took like 2 weeks to get it home) I came to the understanding that I couldn't let it go - had to try again.

Now, almost a year, close to 5000 miles, and a new bike later (yet another story for later) the closing days of May have arrived - almost TABR time - and I'll be there because it's unfinished business.

More to come...